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Showing posts from December, 2013

Release

A few weeks ago, I was sitting on a flight heading back home to Georgia from Australia. I had booked my return flight at the last minute with a cheap airline because I didn't want to sell both arms and legs to pay for the crazy expensive prices on the better airlines. At the end of the day, I made it from point A to point B, which I guess is the point. Anyway, during the flight we encountered some turbulence. The pilot said that flying over Fiji is always like that - something about their weather I think he said. I was just trying to hold in my airline meal at the time, so I wasn't entirely paying attention. :) After his announcement, I remember looking up and noticing that the "fasten seatbelts" sign wasn't lit up. I was surprised, especially because of just how  bumpy that portion of the flight was. Parts of my flight (with a more expensive airline) coming to Sydney had been bumpy, and the "fasten seatbelts" sign had been lit up the whole time. T

Dusty Boxes

I was a little girl. Innocent. I shouldn't have known such pain, but I did. Not physical pain, but deep emotional pain. I think I could have dealt with the physical pain - at least that heals. But this pain, it lingers. Over and over again it cuts me to the core and I wonder how I will heal yet again. I wonder if  I will heal. Rejection. Disgust. Never good enough. That's what I felt. It's what I still feel. I used to think maybe it would get better. "Maybe he'll change," I told myself. Yet even as the words formed in my mind, I knew I didn't really believe them. It had been over 20 years and nothing had changed - why would it be different now? The pain went on, sometimes with new wounds on a daily basis. Inside, I was still a little girl, still trying to process how to stop the hurting, how to make things happy again. I wondered what I'd done wrong, in what way I hadn't measured up this time. For most of my life, I thought I just wasn'