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Showing posts from August, 2014

A gift?

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I think we all do it - we determine what, who we're going to be. We make plans, we choose a career path, we think we've got life figured out. And then comes the curveball. Mine was infertility. I'd always planned on having a bunch of kids. Of course, I cloaked that under the phrase "however many God gives me," but at the end of the day, the plan was not one kiddo in six years. These six years have brought so much heartache as I have wrestled with how my reality meshes with my dream. How to make the two work? Maybe God's timing was a little slower than mine, I thought. Another month, another six months, another year, passed by - no baby. Maybe He was just testing me. Maybe I needed to become "more spiritual." Maybe there was too much sin in my life. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I tormented myself with "maybe's." But I never once considered this: that maybe my plan was wrong. Maybe my plan was just that: mine . Maybe I had never really